


just hold me

by friendscookiesandcr



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, spoiler for 122, takes place after episode 122
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:22:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28912263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendscookiesandcr/pseuds/friendscookiesandcr
Summary: Beau and Yasha take watch. Takes place after ep. 122
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 6
Kudos: 98





	just hold me

They were all unsure why to do next. Beau could see how all her friends were avoiding looking at her hand or hell even just at her. As if she might spread it if they weren’t careful. Only Caleb looked, and he didn’t look away again. She could imagine being his mind right now, hers was probably not all too different. She hated this, she did not want to have any part in this creepy cult shit. She wasn’t a magic user nor person chosen by a strange or mysterious god or patron. And while Beau always despised the fact of being the ‘normal’ one out of the group she would give everything to go back to that state. She saw Caleb rubbing the scars on his arm. She couldn’t blame him, really, her left hand was full of scratch marks already. It didn’t remove the eye though. Neither did the greater restoration spell or the dispel magic they tried. 

“Maybe we should all get some sleep, it might look different in the morning.” Jester glared concerned between Beau and Caleb. Beau could feel the emotions Caleb was wrestling with. What if they would go back to sleep and both wake up with another eye? She had too shiver. This could not be happening, she didn’t want to share her brain with someone else, especially not with some old ass mages trying to regain long-lost power. 

“I don’t think this is how it works, I think we need to read more of the book before we get another one of these,” she held up her left hand, the red eye daunting her. Did it just move? A cold shiver shoot through her body once more. “But just in case maybe Caleb and I shouldn’t sleep at the same time? I can stay up first if you want.” The second part of her sentence left unspoken, please don’t make me sleep again. Caleb eyed her seemingly without taking anything in before he slowly nodded and laid back down. Jester looked around, unsure of herself. 

“I will stay up with you Beau, if that is okay?” Yasha was the only other person not looking away, as if she wanted to make sure Beau would not suddenly evaporate out of their midst. Beau didn’t dare to look back. She could only imagine the emotions Yasha must be feeling right now, she did so herself not that long ago when their roles were reversed. And the monk was certain she would not be able to handle whatever fear or sadness might be visible in Yasha’s eyes.

Beau nodded. They didn’t have their date, not even a brief conversation. They were considering fighting and potentially killing Lucien and therefore any hope of bringing Molly back and now this. All the willpower she could manage was necessary to hold back on tears forming behind her eyes. She closed them, her heart drumming loudly in her ears. What was happening?

Not certain how long she was sitting like this, only hearing her own heartbeat, feeling the cold sensation of fear, she was suddenly pulled back into reality, by a warm hand on top of her right one, the normal one. 

“Are you okay?” Yasha, of course it was her, and she sounded concerned. Beau begrudgingly opened her eyes. She wasn’t certain if she had room for someone else’s worries in her mind but she did not dare to let Yasha be left alone with hers. 

“I am not sure.” Her voice was shaking, unmistakably. Followed by tears slowly running down her face. 

Yasha pulled her into a hug. Enveloped by Yasha’s scent she allowed herself to let go, to be take care of. And Yasha was there to catch her, to share her sadness and fear. Beau could feel her heartbeat slowing down and so did her brain. She felt a distant wave of calmness overcome her. They would find a way, they always did. And Yasha would be at her side fighting with her, for her.

“I had a conversation with Caduceus back in Rexxentrum.” Yasha’s voice was barely audible and sounded as if she was fighting with tears herself. “He told me not to wait too long, otherwise it might be too late. I - I don’t think I can wait any longer.” She paused, considering her next step. “I wish we had just left on a raft the other night.” A small chuckle. They both knew they would never have left their friends, not in million years.

Beau looked up to the taller woman, blue eyes meeting multicoloured ones for the first time since they woke up. “What don’t you want to wait for anymore?” 

“We will figure this out, I - we will figure this out.” A mantra almost. Yasha carefully took Beau’s left hand, a thumb stroking the red eye starring back at them. Lost in thought she repeated the motion two, three times. Beau felt herself holding her breath, fear making room for another emotion, a pulling and boiling deep within her. A desperation to close the gap between them. 

With a fluent motion Yasha turned Beau around so they were facing each other. Beau did not miss the eye on her left hand being covered by Yasha’s larger hand. And suddenly the gap was closed, and all Beau could feel was Yasha, encasing her. Beau’s heartbeat picket up again, here head started spinning. The moment felt like an eternity. Just the two of them embracing each other. 

And suddenly Caleb was sitting straight up again.

**Author's Note:**

> also just so I don't take credit for other peoples thoughts, the raft comment was very much inspired by different tumblr posts :)


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